Why Leadership Isn’t a Costume You Wear
I once worked with a guy who got promoted to team leader.
Smart bloke. Good at his job. Popular in the team.
Before the promotion, he’d show up in polo shirts, casual jumpers, standard office wear.
But on day one in the new role?
Shirt and tie. Too big for him. Looked like a kid on school picture day.
To him, that was leadership.
That was “stepping up.”
You look different. You act different. You distance yourself.
And while I admire the intent, there’s a problem.
Leadership isn’t something you put on.
It’s something you show up with.
Leadership Isn’t a Costume
Too many people treat leadership like a uniform.
You get a new title. You wear different clothes. You start using different phrases in meetings.
But the job hasn’t changed.
You have.
Or at least, you’re supposed to.
Because real leadership isn’t about looking the part.
It’s about owning the part.
The tie won’t help you build trust.
The new email signature won’t earn you respect.
If you want to be a leader, don’t focus on how you present.
Focus on how you show up.
What Actually Makes a Leader?
Let’s drop the clichés and cut to it.
Real leadership isn’t about performance. It’s about:
Clarity – Can you set a direction your team can follow?
Trust – Can you let go of control and still get results?
Accountability – Can you hold standards without micromanaging?
Judgement – Can you make good decisions under pressure?
Composure – Can you stay steady when the team gets shaky?
None of that comes from dressing smarter.
It comes from thinking sharper.
The Ladder Is a Lie
There’s a belief that leadership is just another step on the ladder.
You get promoted. You get more power. You upgrade your wardrobe.
But real leadership isn’t about climbing.
It’s about lifting others.
And you don’t need a tie to do that.
You need emotional discipline. A sense of purpose. A willingness to be unpopular for the right reasons.
Leadership is not a costume you wear.
It’s a role you earn through action, consistency, and how you make people feel when they’re around you.
If You’re Stepping Up - Start Here
If you’ve recently taken on a leadership role (or you’re about to), don’t worry about how you look.
Worry about what you model:
Show calm in chaos.
Set direction when others are unclear.
Make decisions that serve the team, not your ego.
That’s how leaders are made. Not promoted.